Sierra
by biiiiiiiiiiiiirdman
Summary: HieixBotan. A father watches a daughter that he knows nothing about from afar when Hiei takes a brief moment from his endless wandering to take a look at the life that he left behind him and what could have been. A songfic to Cursive's "Sierra".


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN YU YU HAKUSHO OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS OR THE SONG "SIERRA" BY CURSIVE!**

**A/N: Well, I had nothing better to do and so I figured I whip something up for all you lovely readers on . Never done a songfic before, so I decided I'd give it a whirl. Hopefully I won't disappoint! It's set to the song **_**"Sierra" **_**by Cursive. I suggest givin it a listen. Great stuff.**

**SIERRA**

_**In the desert, where the cities are made of gold, there's a girl playing hopscotch with pink ribbon pigtails.**_

His cold crimson gaze remained unfaltering upon the moving form of the young girl, his expression remaining as stoic as stone itself. Even the blinding light of the blazing sun overhead could not make him look away, his eyes not so much as flinching as he continued to observe, silently perched upon the rooftop of a nearby building. His hands remained in the pockets of his torn and dirtied black cloak, balled loosely into fists, his fingers moving about occasionally and gripping at the inside of his top. The white scarf that hung about his neck countered the rest of his ebony apparel, appearing brighter than usual thanks to the light of the blazing sun overhead. The fireball's rays shone down ferociously upon the earth, burning it to the point that rays of heat began to radiate from the roads and sidewalks of the city even at sunset.

_**And her mom calls out from an apartment balcony, "Come on, baby! Your bath is ready! It's almost time for sleep!"**_

The child laughed as she jumped about, surrounded by several other young boys and girls that appeared to be of similar age. The observing fire demon did not know exactly what they were doing, though it appeared to be some sort of game involving small squares drawn upon the ground with white chalk.

Her black hair, tied into pigtails with the use of pink ribbons, danced about in the air as she moved quickly, hopping from square to square with a large grin plastered on her face. Her violet gaze shone with pure joy as she jumped, giggling along with the other children who clapped in unison while reciting some sort of rhyme. The swordsman couldn't be certain, but he was fairly certain that the small girl was winning.

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly, attempting to curve upwards against its master's wishes. However, he managed to force it down, instead frowning slightly. It wasn't a good thing that he thought of himself as he watched her, always striving to be the winner. The strongest. The best.

How much **had **he lost in his endless pursuit of strength? The very child that he watched was a price of his goal, something that he had forsaken and left behind as he continued to blaze down the path of the 

warrior. Her mother, too, he had selfishly abandoned, leaving her with child as he chased frantically and without relent after his own dreams.

_**And I wonder who's the father...  
And I wonder what they call her…**_

Friends and relations of any sort, he had tossed aside. Companionship was for the weak, those who needed to rely on the strength of others in order to survive. The strong survived on their own, taking whatever they need or want regardless of the feelings or well being of others. A true warrior was able to live alone, not bonded by the shackles of society but rather liberated by the thrill of liberty. He could go wherever he wanted, do whatever he wanted…

But why, then, did he always seem to return to this place?

"Honey! Your supper's ready!" A feminine voice suddenly called from within one of the nearby homes, finally causing his gaze to leave the girl for a moment. Now, within the doorframe of a house just across the street from him, stood a woman of average height, a gentle smile playing on her lips as she watched her daughter in the street. Her light azure hair was tied back into a pony tail, and she was clad in plain clothing along with a cooking apron, stained with several marks left from preparing various meals. Violet eyes met violet eyes as the girl turned to look at her mother, nodding giddily as she ran towards the woman, waving goodbye to her friends that continued to play their game.

The woman bent low, scooping up the child and holding her tightly in her arms, affectionately squeezing the girl as her eyes drifted shut, the smell of her daughter's hair filling her nostrils. Setting the child down, the woman spoke something which the wanderer could not hear from this distance, though he could see that the girl was apparently delighted by whatever her mother had said, reaching up with her tiny hand to grasp the other's larger one.

In his mind, the warrior found himself begging for the woman to say the child's name. He had heard it before, several times in fact, during his visits to this place. However, whenever the name escaped from between the woman's lips the fire demon found it to sound more beautiful and melodic than one of the great symphonies. His red orbs closed peacefully as his wish was answered.

_**Sierra…**_

Hiei sighed, his brows furrowing as his fingers, still within his cloak, slowly closed around a small box within his pocket. Pulling it free, he reached into the box with his other hand and withdrew one of the cigarettes from within, returning the holder back into his cloak. His eyes remained shut as he placed the smoke in his mouth, snapping his fingers next to its tip, thus lighting the flame.

As he breathed in deep and exhaled through his nose, he tried to remember when he had first started smoking. He wasn't surprised when he realized that he couldn't recall. When one had seen as much as he had, they do would whatever they can to relax. Besides, at the rate that he continued at he would likely be dead within the year anyways. Such was the life of the warrior.

_**Does her mother smoke or does she jog every morning?  
Does she drink when she thinks about me or doesn't she need to drink?**_

The swordsman leapt across the street, landing on the roof of the home that the mother and daughter had entered. His years of thievery and assassination gave him the skills necessary to remain silent, seeking to avoid being noticed by the couple currently within the residence. As he touched down on the ceiling in a crouched position, he allowed a long, drag of smoke to escape from the side of his mouth and rise up into the air.

He flicked the cigarette aside as he walked across the rooftop, jumping off the side and swooping down into an open window, landing like a cat as his fiery gaze moved quickly about the room. Satisfied to find that he had no company, he straightened himself out and lazily dusted off the front of his cloak before slowly moving to the bedside table. He found himself watching as his hand reached out in accordance with its own will, gently grasping the frame of a portrait in which the blue haired woman stood beside him, her arms wrapped affectionately about his neck from behind him as she gave the camera her world famous smile. His expression, of course, was bland and devoid of emotion. He cursed himself mentally. Was he so stubborn that he couldn't even let the woman know how much he cared?

"Botan…" Her name escaped from between his barely parted lips, seeming to echo throughout the room before finally fading away. Without a sound, he set the picture back down upon the table and looked to the other photographs in which the ex-ferry girl was accompanied by her daughter, occasionally joined by several other figures from his past. He could spot the spirit detective, Yusuke Urameshi, in one of them, and the fox demon Kurama in another. Then there was the detective's mate, the oaf's, Kuwabara's, sister…

Memories played within his mind briefly before he forced them away, frowning to himself as he stepped back. Stealthily, he moved to the nearby doorway and stepped through, tiptoeing down the stairs that lay just around the corner so that he could overhear the mother and daughter as they sat at the kitchen table, eating the young girl's favorite dish.

"Mom, can I pwease have some mo' pasghetti?" The child asked sweetly, cocking her head to the side as she grinned, red sauce splattered all around her mouth. Her mother laughed softly before serving her some more, sitting back down next to her and watching as she ate.

"Tank woo." She asked with a full mouth as she chewed the pasta, finally managing to swallow it after what seemed to be an intense battle. Botan simply smiled as she continued to watch her child, seemingly transfixed before the small half demon brought her from her daze with a question that made Hiei perk up where he was hidden.

"Mommy, why don't I have a daddy?" She questioned, her expression interested but still retaining her earlier innocence and naïveté. Botan's eyes widened for a moment before her face softened once more. Still smiling, she grabbed a nearby napkin and began wiping around her daughter's mouth.

"You do have a daddy, sweetheart." She spoke softly, a reminiscent look appearing on her face as she continued to clean her child's face.

"But den why doesn't he wiv wid us?" The girl continued with her interrogation, "Sakuwa's daddy wivs wid her mommy. And Suzaku's, and Desuke's…"

"I know, honey. But your daddy is very busy." Botan answered, still cleaning up the girl's cheeks, "He works very hard and can't be here as much as I know he'd like to."

"Too busy?" Her daughter murmured softly to herself before looking back up, "…doesn't he wuv us?"

Botan paused for a moment before forcing herself to continue to smile even as tears threatened to overwhelm her. Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around her child and held her tightly against her as to not let her see the tears now falling from her eyes.

"No, baby, he loves you very much." She whispered into the girl's ear, still smiling even now.

"And daddy wuvs mommy too, wite?"

Botan bit her bottom lip, lest sobs suddenly overtake her. Weakly, she managed a nod, her grip on her child tightening.

"Y-Yes…"

"And mommy wuvs daddy?"

Hiei had never felt this way before. His chest felt as though it were being ripped in two as his heart was replaced by some sort of blade, constantly shifting about within his core and creating an unbearable ache. As Botan answered, he felt his breathing stop dead in his throat.

"Yes… mommy loves daddy very much." She responded, wiping her tears away with the sleeves of her shirt before pulling back and smiling lovingly at her child.

"Why awe mommy's cheek wed?" The girl asked, not understanding. How could she? She was too young and innocent to realize the dark workings of the world around her.

"Mommy got some spaghetti on herself, too." Botan answered, earning a giggle in response.

"Me and mommy awe messy."

"Very." The mother answered, rubbing her nose against the other's, "Now let's get this messy girl into a bath and ready for bed."

_**I'm ready to settle down now so get that man out of my bed.  
I want my daughter back now.  
I want to kiss her, tuck her in, and say "goodnight, my baby girl".**_

"Goodnight, sweetheart." Botan whispered, bending down and kissing her daughter's forehead softly as the girl shifted comfortably beneath her covers, smiling dreamily.

"Goodnight, mommy." She answered before turning on her side and wrapping her arms about her pillow, snuggling into it and closing her eyes. Botan remained beside her bed for a moment, simply watching her chest rise and fall before slowly withdrawing herself from the room, hitting the light switch on her way out and leaving the door open just a crack, that way if the boogeyman were to come she would be the first to know.

Botan sighed as she closed her eyes momentarily, walking down the hallway and turning at the stairs, slowly beginning her descent.

_**Sierra  
Sierra  
Sierra  
Sierra  
Sierra**_

_**I'll never know who you are,  
and I don't deserve to.**_

As she came to the bottom of the steps, a strange scent flooded her senses. The air down here, it smelled like… fire and brimstone, smoke and ash, a night around a smoldering bonfire….

_**Sierra  
Sierra  
Sierra  
Sierra  
My little girl,  
We would have been so...oh, never mind.**_

"She's beautiful." Hiei spoke from where he sat at the kitchen table, his back facing her as he breathed in the smoke from the cigarette that lay protruding from between his lips. Botan felt herself become frozen and unable to move, an unspeakable pain forming within her chest as liquid and salt began to well up within her eyes.

The room remained silent as the fire demon slowly rose to his feet, sliding the chair he had been sitting in back into position once he was done. He had grown since he had left, now standing slightly taller than her. Not only that, but his features were no longer as smooth as she remembered, but instead they appeared more rough and rugged. His skin possessed several scars and bruises, and his jaw line hosted many short whiskers that he didn't bother shaving. It was amazing what the years could do, especially if they had not been particularly kind.

"H-Hiei…?" Botan hiccupped, taking a step forward and blinking desperately as if to make sure that she weren't dreaming. He remained where he was, standing in his usual intimidating stance that had 

haunted her dreams night after night. However, though his face didn't show it, his eyes betrayed him and showed a sort of soft remorse.

"Hn." He answered, not looking away from her eyes. Hearing that noise again made her legs weak, so much so that they actually buckled beneath her, forcing her to fall to the ground. In an instant he was there, holding her gently in his arms and watching as tears streamed down her face. Slowly, her hand reached out and ran along his cheek lovingly before coming to his lips and wrapping around the cigarette, tossing it aside.

"….don't… they'll kill you…" She managed to whisper, managing a soft and dreamlike smile. Hiei's stoic façade began to crack, his expression softening visibly as his grip on her tightened.

"…It doesn't matter….." He murmured darkly, looking down and fighting off the shiver that tried to overtake him, "…I've been in a constant state of dying… since the day that I left you."

_**But I'm ready to settle down now.  
Yeah I'm ready to leave that wrecking ball behind.**_

Botan didn't speak, her hands simply continuing to run along Hiei's face in disbelief. It was as if they were relearning ever curve of his helm as they danced along his scalp, eventually coming to lose themselves within his jet black hair.

"I…" Hiei attempted, swallowing hard, "I want you back…." He forced himself to speak, swallowing his pride. That very pride had cost him everything up to this point, and he would no longer allow it to continue. He couldn't.

"….I want my daughter back." He finished, his bandana covered forehead coming to rest upon hers. Slowly, sobs began to wrack her body as she tossed her arms about his neck, desperately trying to hold him tighter against her as she choked out his name in between tears.

"We miss you," She whispered frantically, begging him, "Please don't go… please stay with us… she needs you, I need you…"

"I'm here, onna…." He answered, closing his eyes tightly as his teeth gritted together, "Botan… I'm not going anywhere."

"Mommy, I can't sweep." A soft voice suddenly called from up at the top of the stairs, the small girl standing in her pair of bright yellow jammies while loosely holding her pillow at her side. Hiei froze as Botan looked up to their daughter, smiling as more tears began to pour from her eyes.

"Who's dat? And why is mommy cwying?"

Botan forced herself to her feet, and despite the fact that it felt like a knife was being plunged into her as she stepped out of Hiei's arms, she managed to remove herself from his hold. As he stood there looking at the girl like a deer caught in a pair of headlights, Botan beckoned for the small child to come down the stairs.

"S-Sweetheart," She managed, kneeling next to the girl and placing her hands upon her tiny shoulders, "This is…" She trailed, off, looking to Hiei. His crimson gaze closed for a moment before reappearing once more, an arm slowly extending outwards toward the girl.

"Come." He instructed, watching as she shrank back into her mother, looking up at her for instructions on what she should do. Botan gave another tearful smile as she nodded, softly pushing her daughter forward. Hiei waited as the child remained in place momentarily, seemingly fearful of him. Why shouldn't she be? After all, he was a monster.

As slowly as it had risen, he allowed his arm to drop to his side, his eyes closing once again.

What had he hoped to achieve? He was a lone wolf. A stray mut without a cause or a purpose. He was a wanderer, and as such, would continue to wander.

Alone.

_**I could be your carpenter,  
and you could be my twinkling north star o'er the desert sky.**_

Exhaling, he made to rise when suddenly he felt a small pair of arms wrap around him, a tiny head burying itself into the crook of his neck as well. His eyes shot wide open in shock, looking to his daughter as she clung to him with a large smile on her face.

"Hewo, daddy." She spoke into his shoulder, causing him to twist about within himself. Gently his arms came to wrap around and hold her to him as he took special care not to harm her. Never before had he tried to hold something so frail and so precious in all of his life, making him petrified that if he squeezed too hard he might accidently break her.

Another pair of arms came to wrap around the father and his daughter as Botan knelt beside them as well, her tearstained face touching against Hiei's as she placed a soft kiss upon his scarred cheek.

"Welcome home, Hiei…"

_**Sierra**_

_**Sierra**_

_**Sierra**_

_**Sierra**_

_**Sierra**_

**--**

**A/N: That's it. I should try to get bored more often because it seems to be when I'm most productive. On that note, I'm goin to bed. Sweet dreams, everybody.**

**-Zizou**


End file.
